If at any time an author can bring out emotions in a reader, they are a success. If they can draw in a reader to feel engaged in the journey of their new book friends, they earn more respect. If an author can leave a reader feeling intrigued, inspired, and even offer healing, they’ve gained a bibliophile fanatic for life. - Shani K. - The Chronicles of an Abibliophobiac.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Review: "Divorce Recovery: Guide for Parents and Couples" By Ben Jackson and Sam Lawrence

(Links after the review!)

I am a child of divorce. Yes, the dreaded “D” word that can be terrifying on its own. But then when you add in children and different scenarios, it can be downright traumatic. I guess you could say I was more fortunate than some kids, because my parents divorce became final when I was just a wee little one. I don’t remember any of it, obviously. But my brother, who is older, has some small memories of the separation and later divorce. I think each individual situation is different. Some remember, some don’t. I am 38 now and I too am married with monsters (ok, so they’re really children. Most days! Just kidding! Smile, it was a funny joke!), and have been for many moons. Even though we have never personally gone through a divorce, we know many couples and family members who have.

Let me tell you now, I would recommend this book to them. We live in a day and age where so many things have become drastically different than all those years ago when my parents dealt with it. It’s not as cut and dry as it once was. You have an abundance of assets alone that need to be dealt with in most cases. It’s not just the parts that prepare you with advice on how to divvy things up or go about the divorce itself in this book that fascinated me and make me like it. The biggest part I enjoyed, how to deal with the personal relationships.

Whether it’s with each other, family members, friends, co workers and most of all your children, you have to focus on a happy medium. Because truth be known, how you deal with all of them is what can save you from totally losing it within yourself. As a kid, my Mom never, ever talked bad about my Dad. I can write this now as an adult with neither parent with me, ( Mom passed, Dad is absent) and tell you that it is the absolute truth. As I got older I asked my Mom why it was she never did. Especially when I had heard from so many family members their “opinion” or “feelings” about my parents and in many cases, just my Dad. She told me that she was older when her parents were divorcing and it was utter hell on all six kids. These were the days where divorce was looked down upon with such disgrace. She knew what it was like to literally be caught in the middle. She didn’t want that for my brother and I. She wanted to always know that even if they could not make a marriage work together, that she did love my Dad. She would explain to me that it was a different kind of love. She was forever thankful for him, and for us. As an adult on my own, I learned a lot about their marriage and relationship. Some of it, after she was gone.

Let me go back to my point here from my ramblings. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been through zero divorces or multiple. Each relationship and situation won’t be the same. Not just by the number of divorces you have. But different from your neighbors, your boss’ or your friends. This is why you really should look for advice. In my opinion, a guided set of rules and advice. Hence, my support of Ben and Sam's book! I will give you several awesome points that they make:

  • They go over the countries with the highest average divorce rate and offer an insight. I was actually really surprised at what number my country (U.S.A.) was at. I was even more surprised by the number one spot. It’s fascinating to see the information and it makes you reflect a bit on what you do know about different areas. We hear all the time with in the media or personally how people feel their country is more superior than another. Which by the way, I think is moronic. (Just throwing that bit out there for you!)
  • We live in a high tech world. This means apps for your smart phone, tablets, just about any electronic device you own. I went through and checked out the different apps they list more out of curiosity than anything. The apps listed are ones that claim to help with the process. It’s pretty cool, the variations you can find. 
  • Where are several types of divorce that they touch base on as well. Along with the costs in some cases. If you’re like me, you think about how expensive it really can be. Like just about anything these days, the money can be as cheap as a hundred dollars to a couple thousand. Or even more. It’s good to have a guide or an idea of what to look at price wise.
  • Any relationships you have are going to come away with some bit of interruption or beginning in some cases. I honestly didn’t realize it being beyond the usual marriage disillusion. Even more so when you have kids. When the time comes, new relationships can cause a ripple effect. How you deal with one person can reflect on how you deal with another.
I don’t want to give away too much information here of course. But it really honestly is a good guide for help if you need it. It gave me some reflection on what the process is. Also with how my parents’ end of their marriage. As someone who has been in the middle of similar situations (between my mom and her ex-boyfriend for example) it’s wonderful to see that in all the judgments, there is help.

Too often than not as a society we look to place blame, ridicule, guess and berate instead of holding a hand out to offer help. Pick this book up for yourself, a friend or loved one that may need it.

Thanks Ben and Sam for an insightful read!

5 out of 5 stars!

Authors Amazon Page: Ben Jackson - Sam Lawrence

Authors GoodReads Page: Ben Jackson - Sam Lawrence

Authors Facebook Fan Page: Ben and Sam

My GoodReads Review HERE

My Amazon Review HERE

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